Babel Fish Blunders #5

The answer to last month's Mystery Text was "Watchmen".

-As always, I'd like to note that the Babel Fish translator is a very useful and well programmed tool. These translations could very well be made by any program of the sort; it's only natural that there would be confusion when translating from one language to several others. That being said, it's simply my tool of choice-


-English Text #9-
I ran outta gas! I had a flat tire! I didn't have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn't come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from outta town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts!! It wasn't my fault I swear to God!!!

-Babel Fish'd-
I moved the gas of outta! There was a tire which gets flat in me! I didn' Furthermore in t the sufficient for taxi fee there is a gold! My tuxedo didn' t comes returning from the detergent! The old friend entered from the town of outta! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! Terrible flood! Locust!! That wasn' t me in God! My defect which you swear!!

Source: The Blues Brothers

-English Text #10-
(To Gorrath, about an evil alternate self) Listen, the only thing I hate more than you, is me! Er...him! Me! Him! You know what I mean!

-Babel Fish'd-
Rather than in Gorrath (concerning oneself of the wicked mutual difference,), being I you hear the only thing where I hate many! Obtaining -…Him! Me! Him! Those which I mean are known!

Source: Megas XLR

-Mystery Text #5-
War. War does not change under any condition. When ever since the dawn of type of human, our ancestors first discover the murder power of the stone and the bone, the blood justice simplicity from God, with all names to, spilled to rage of the psychosis.

Hint: Ron Perlman.